If you've been in a long-term relationship, you know that it's impossible to never have an argument, no matter how hard you tried to avoid it, failed, and no matter how much you pretended not to be angry.
Arguments and conflicts are a way to test boundaries, to understand what is important to you, to experience hurt and regret for having hurt the other person, to do unpleasant things that could poison your relationship if hidden.
Arguing with your partner is an intimate act. Learn to argue properly and deepen your partnership with them.
Respect your partner's "argumentative style"
Perhaps the other person immediately reacts and raises their voice and has no tolerance for things that push their "switches". He yells, shuts up, throws out negative energy, then pulls himself together and maybe apologizes. Temperamental people who have a "short fuse" often behave this way. Respect that.
Don't try to yell at the person who is yelling, and don't reassure them that there is no reason to react that way. He doesn't need a reason, he just reacts that way. Don't take it personally, embrace her argumentative style and dynamic and wait for the right moment to talk.
Your partner is not your enemy, you are not on opposite sides. When you argue, you attack the problem, not each other.
Be honest
You can hurt another person at any time because you know their triggers and weak points. In anger, without thinking, it is easy to hurt another person. Don't do that. The essence of deep trust between partners in an emotional relationship is the awareness that they do not want to hurt each other. You will regret it if you do. And if you do, try to express your regret in the most sincere way possible.
Also, be honest about the fact that you wanted to hurt a loved one. Only this can help you understand why you did it, why you felt so threatened, that you had to be so toxic, and what part of yourself you were defending by inflicting pain on your partner.
Don't underestimate the power of an apology
The apology must be sincere. It is essential that the interlocutor clearly sees that you are sorry, that it is difficult for you, that you feel bad. Don't be ashamed to apologize! And when you receive forgiveness, stick to what you promised and learn something from that experience and show later that you have learned something. Be willing to accept an apology and forgive.
Show each other love through everyday life
Be friendly, relaxed, pleasant, caring, responsible, present, keep the romance alive, offer support, help and ask what else you can do for your loved one. Do small favors and make concessions, take care of what you know is important to your loved one even if it isn't to you. Text him for no reason, declare and show love and affection in all ways.
