We are all looking for a magic formula that would help us maintain good relationships in a mutually loving relationship for the rest of our lives. They say that marriage is not only a blessing, but also a curse, so marriage should be a conscious and well-thought-out decision. Read which questions we must ask both our partner and ourselves before marriage.
why do you love me
It seems to us that this is a question that does not need an answer, but for a good marriage it is still necessary to know how to define our love for our partner with concrete reasons for our love. We are all in relationships for quite selfish reasons - for example, because of the feeling we get with our partner. And there's nothing wrong with that. The problem arises when the relationship breaks down and the partners begin to question why they are with each other in the first place. Before marriage, it is therefore imperative that both you and your partner find a meaningful answer to this question.
Why do you want to be with me for the rest of your life?
"Because I love you" is not a sufficient answer in this case. Life is a journey with many stops that may differ between two people, but it is something else entirely if the fundamental goal and values of that journey differ between them. Everyone should know what life experiences they want to share with their partner and therefore embark on this journey together with them.
Will you strive for both personal and collective growth?
Marriage does not mean the end of an independent person and the beginning of a common identity. Marriage is the joint life of two independent persons who are ready to build both on themselves and on their relationship. This requires a lot of effort from both of us to maintain balance and to grow together over the years and not separately. It was probably best expressed by the Lebanese poet and writer Khalil Gibran, who said that we should not make bonds out of love and that in marriage we should be together, but not too closely. Even oak and cypress cannot grow if they are in each other's shadow.
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Are you ready to lose a battle at the price of peace?
Most arguments do not arise because of facts, but because of different opinions, so it is imperative that we realize that there are no such things as wrong opinions. All opinions are correct and no opinion is more correct than another, so the arguments and stress associated with them are completely unnecessary. A relationship should never be a place where either our partner or we "fill" our ego, so in marriage it is essential that we are ready to give in - at the price of peace and good relationships.
Will you try to keep the romantic spark alive?
It's the spark that makes the big fire, but just like the lighter, it takes some effort to make the spark happen - in the case of the physical force lighter. With the passage of time, the romantic spark is no longer something that happens by itself and spontaneously, but we have to make a conscious effort for it. To keep a relationship romantic even after 10 years of marriage requires quite a bit of creativity and, above all, will.
Will you still follow your own path to personal goals despite marriage?
Marriage should not be the end, but the beginning, so you should not forget about yourself, your own path, goals and desires with marriage. Only in this way can we ensure that we do not lose ourselves and remain the person our partner fell in love with in the very beginning.
Are you ready to support me if I can't do it myself?
At some point in life, we may become financially, mentally or physically incapacitated. Then all the burden will fall on the shoulders of our partner, so it is essential that we know if our partner is strong enough to withstand such a burden and carry us in case we fall.
Taken from:
www.elitedaily.com
