Remember: if I wanted to be with you, I would be!

There are a million possible scenarios. It's easier if he's a selfish bastard who only thinks of himself, who uses you to make others jealous, takes advantage of you, mistreats you, tramples on you, or whatever.

But it's much harder if he's a good guy and has to be let go anyway. When he tells you that you're an amazing person, but he still doesn't feel the same way about you. Or when he really likes you but doesn't think you're the right person for him. Or if he doesn't have the same strong feelings and is honest with you. Or if he can't decide and is confused, and the confusion is just his way of telling you "no".

If he wanted to be with you, he probably wouldn't change his mind because he knew he wanted to.

But whether he's a great man, a jerk, or whatever, when he says “no", it's no longer about you and him, but about just you and how you're going to continue your life. No matter the situation, how he treated you, how much fun you had, he doesn't want to be with you. This is the truth. And that will be your stumbling block for the next few weeks or months. This is what will help you find your peace about a breakup, a failed relationship, or the fact that you won't be talking to him anymore.

The harsh truth, but still the truth that will help you move on, is: "If I wanted to be with you, I would be."

It's very easy to get complacent and think: "It just needs time or space" or "He's just afraid of a relationship and I have to convince him that it's really nice" or maybe "He built walls around himself, I will tear them down".

Remember how you feel about him. How easy, natural and obvious these feelings are. How you don't have to wonder if you'd like to be with him because it's something you just feel. Remember that even though you were afraid to open up and be hurt, you were still willing to try because you chose to. You wanted to be with him and you were. The decision was simple.

Can you imagine feeling all these things but still choosing not to be with him?

That's why your heart is broken - because he doesn't feel the same way you do. He didn't feel as safe as you did and you can't change that. You cannot "fix" yourself because you are fine and have done nothing wrong. This is the truth. His heart is somewhere else. It's really, really terrible, but you have to accept it... and it's even worse.

It may be weeks or months. Maybe longer. It will hurt. Some days will be desperate and others OK! And the small consolation in all of this is: you can let your heart break once instead of a million times trying to convince yourself that he's wrong, that he probably misses you, and that you should call him.

Love yourself enough to honestly admit to yourself: "If you wanted to be with me, you would be."