During our teenage years, we are usually surrounded by many people, but over the years, the number of friends in our lives decreases significantly and it is much more difficult to make new acquaintances. Science found a way anyway.
By entering the world'adults' most people limit circle of friends or simple cannot find persons, with whom to hang out. Fortunately, he has science some tips on how to do that change the situation in your favor.
'Trampoline Listener'
![Don't just be a listener, but inspire the person with feedback.](https://e7852c3a.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/simon-maage-706908-unsplash-660x441.jpg)
Referring to the study on the influence of expressed interest in communication, author Eric Barker advises how to become better listener.
Listening and being kind are not the same as ask people, let them tell you more. A researcher Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman they warn that listening does not it just means a silent nod of the head, rather people think they are the best listeners are those, that ask questions, because they encourage insight into what is being said.
Try with 'trampoline metaphor': don't just be listeners, rather, inspire the person with feedback, so they know you're interested in what they are told.
Be specific when providing support.
![When giving advice to a person, avoid meaningless phrases.](https://e7852c3a.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/katy-belcher-387797-unsplash-660x440.jpg)
When you advise a person, avoid meaningless phrases ("I believe it will work out for you"), rather be precise in counseling. Not only will it the person felt closer to you, but it will felt better, as these are valid comments.
An open book
![It's good to open up very quickly.](https://e7852c3a.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/sam-manns-379040-unsplash-660x446.jpg)
V studies they are about self-disclosure in intimate relationships found out, that it is good to be a person they open very quickly, as this speaks of trust, but at the same time you have enough time for 'self-disclosure'. If you open up too soon, you may risk making a new friend alienated and you will destroy the opportunity to connect.
Bring the 'zombies' to life.
![Rekindle old friendships.](https://e7852c3a.rocketcdn.me/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/joel-bengs-498744-unsplash-660x375.jpg)
Another gem found in a study on the value of reconnection, he says he is reviving old friendships can be particularly useful. Reconnecting with familiar friends can bring more of trust, as you once built it, because it is only about supplementing that, which was already built.