Every day we carry a handful of things with us that we need to discuss with our partner. Knowing and understanding the right trade-offs can make our lives a lot easier.
A successful marriage sometimes also involves compromises, which are one of the most important aspects of the successful functioning of modern relationships.
The process is not easy
Making trade-offs can be difficult, sometimes unsuccessful. Oftentimes, the argument drags on until one side simply gives in, which is not necessarily beneficial to the relationship.
Experts believe that cooperation and compromises are a much better option than the classical acceptance of compromise.
In making joint compromises it is a type of problem solving where individual desires, wills and attitudes are determined so that both people can look at things objectively. The point is to reach a fair agreement, rather than one side making concessions to the other in order to save the relationship.
Individual wishes are combined into one problem, which is then solved by both parties together. Of course, the trade-offs are different, but each other allows couples to effectively negotiate everything from raising children to spending time as individuals with their own preferences and views.
Each side presents and states its preferences separately, conducts a conversation and then makes decisions. It seems as if both sides have put their desires, differences and disagreements on the virtual table. Thus, differences and disagreements exist between partners, and not exclusively within them.
Cooperation does not mean surrender
In a relationship, there may be a fear of relinquishing control and letting go of anatomy, but compromises about collaboration mean that both partners maintain their independence. They simply work together to reach an agreement that takes all factors into account.
Sincere cooperation protects individual autonomy. No surrender, only talks, negotiations, compromises. The couple works together towards a common goal.
In order for a couple to successfully negotiate, it is imperative that they first understand the difference between disagreement and entering into conflict.
For a successful negotiation, it is important that:
- you understand that your partner is a valuable person
- to understand your preferences related to a particular situation
- that you are willing to negotiate these wishes
- understand that your preferences are not privileged
In this way, by understanding the above principles, you will have a relationship in which the desires of both partners are heard and in which you will discuss these desires and needs.
It is important to work together and find the best solutions for each situation.
The process of successful negotiations or accepting compromises involves four steps
1. Find a way to present the problem in the best possible way. Don't just throw out your wish list, make an introduction and let your partner know what you want to discuss so they have enough time to process and prepare.
2. Make your wishes clear. Simplicity is key. Don't negotiate with old baggage and objections. Be clear about what's bothering you.
3. Listen carefully and appreciate what your partner is saying. Respect each other.
4. Make an action plan that you both agree on. This type of arrangement will enable you to exist as individuals and also as a couple.
