Forbidden (or unattainable) fruits are the sweetest. And this rule is confirmed again and again in the kingdom of love. The feeling of being in love is even stronger when someone is unavailable. And why is that? Why do we want those people we can never have?
Why is it often an unattainable person is a hundred times more attractive in our eyes, what would she be like if we could have her? Inaccessibility is like magic spice, which convinces us that we want those things/persons much more and makes it impossible for us to have our feet on real ground. How does our brain work then?
Why do we want those people we can never have?
We like the feeling of chasing someone.
Some people like the feeling of being chased. They like the elusiveness, the effort they have to put in and the high dose of hormones that comes when a person softens a bit.
We think we are worthy if we succeed.
Many of us consciously or unconsciously need to fight for someone just to confirm that they are worthy enough. If they get someone who initially showed no interest, that's a source of important validation.
We feed our ego.
Likewise, sometimes we want someone we can't have, not because we long for that particular person, but because we quietly want to feed our own ego.
We are attracted to unreliability.
If we want someone we can't have, it makes our lives a lot more exciting. Especially if that person is somewhat involved in the flirting anyway, but never fully commits. Maybe we like the feeling of never knowing what will happen tomorrow?
Our imagination has free rein.
When a person does not let us close, we can paint our own version of this person in the gaps that would be filled by clear and correct information in any other relationship. So we can yearn for some fantasy of our own and not really so much for that person.
