With such questions, we will inflict pain on the woman that we cannot even imagine. That's why women never ask this!
Sometimes we say something that touches the soul of another cuts like a sword. Unknowingly, without bad intentions, we hurt people. Every word we utter has a certain weight. And let's be aware of that!
There is a woman in her 30s somewhere with several children.
People will say to her: “So many children? Dear God, I hope they're done now.” And she will laugh because such comments are funny, but the laughter will not be sincere. She will change the subject. And when she's alone, she'll cry.
She will cry because she is pregnant again and has to hide how happy she is. She will cry where she always wanted a bigger family but she doesn't know why it bothers people so much. She will cry because she doesn't have siblings herself and she knows how important that is. She will cry where her grandmother had twelve and she herself would like to be like her. She will cry because she can't imagine life without children, and people see it as some kind of evil. She will cry because she does not want to be pitied. She will cry because society has called her irresponsible. She will cry where she is tired of the funny comments. She will cry because all she wants is to live in peace.
There is a woman out there somewhere, 30 years old, and no children.
People ask her: "You don't have children yet?" She will answer with a forced smile and a nod of her head. "No, not yet," will find out. "Don't wait too long, time is running out..." you might say to fill the awkward silence. She will only laugh bitterly. When you part, she will let out the tears she has been hiding until now.
She will cry because she has been pregnant twice and miscarried twice. She will cry where she has been trying to get pregnant since her first wedding night three years ago. She will cry when her husband has a child with his ex-wife and doesn't want her. She will cry where she tried artificial insemination several times, but failed... She will cry because her husband blames her for it and also because it is getting harder and harder to live with him. She will cry because all her sisters have children and she doesn't. She will cry because her sister didn't want a baby but got pregnant anyway. She will cry because her best friend is pregnant. She will cry because her mother keeps asking her: "What's new? What are you waiting for?" She will cry where she chose a beautiful name for the child she cannot bear. She will cry because she could be a great mom, but she can't.
There's a woman out there somewhere, 40 years old, with one child.
People will say to her: “Just one? You never wanted more?” "I am happy with one child," will calmly answer and repeat it for every similarly stupid question they ask.
When you're not looking, she'll cry because this one pregnancy was a true miracle. She'll cry because her son keeps asking her if he's getting a little brother or sister. She will cry because she always dreamed of having three children. She will cry where she had to terminate another pregnancy to save her own life. She will cry because the doctor told her that she will not be able to get pregnant again.
These are the stories that the women around us carry within themselves. They are our neighbors, friends, sisters, colleagues... And it's not up to us to give them advice and give them advice. Their uterus is theirs alone and should never be the subject of our thinking and conversation. Let's respect that!
