Life sometimes brings us to a point where we see no way out. We don't know where to turn and which path to choose to be the right one. Some wake up in such situations and make a shift in their lives, while others only sink deeper.
It was one of those days when I woke up and again rescheduled the nap. And many times! I don't know how many times, but it was so many times that I was almost late for work again. It was autumn, I remember how I sat on the edge of the bed and watched through the window how the leaves fell from the trees. I imagined the tree crying. I've been sad and depressed. I was sleepless and although nothing was wrong, I felt sad.
I took a deep breath and slowly made my way to the kitchen, where I made myself as usual strong coffee. I also prepared breakfast and thought to myself: "Why have I been eating the same breakfast for months and months, what is wrong with me?" But I was too lazy to prepare anything else, so I stuck to the smoothie. You mix a few ingredients together and voila, breakfast is ready. I know some people don't even eat breakfast, so even thinking about it made me proud of myself. But somehow I love to eat too much to skip breakfast. I also realized in my life that if I don't eat breakfast, I don't have enough energy and I can't function normally without it.
I was without real motivation and enthusiasm at work. I had the feeling that the customers just wanted to fight and they pour negativity into me. I was already not feeling my best, and then there was this. I found myself rolling my eyes when the customer left, even though I had done it a second before a fake smile under the mask by lifting my cheekbones and narrowing my eyes. Hey, how am I? she got on her nerves. Often, when I was alone, I would stare into space and think. I used to think about so many things at the same time that I would write my thoughts on colored slips of paper, because I wasn't concentrating and I quickly forgot what I was thinking at all. In addition to everything that was going through my head, there was a constant question: "What are you doing? Why are you constantly in a bad mood and why don't you move on in your life?”
At that moment I told myself that it was enough. I thought about where I could start fixing things - right now.
I felt bad in my own skin, because chronic pain in the trapezius has accompanied me for more than ten years. Every movement I made hurt me and living with it for years and years is not easy. When you're in pain, you're even more irritable, you don't smile as much as you could, you don't sing in the shower anymore, you don't hear the birds chirping when you're outside, and your friend's jokes are suddenly uninteresting.
Just what can I do to fix this? Numerous examinations with doctors did not give the right answer. Somehow I felt what I should do, but I avoided it, although I still don't know why. I knew I would have to hire a trainer and therapist, because it's somehow the only option left open that could benefit me. I had a good feeling, but I was scared. I mull over decisions quietly and for a long time in myself before I decide to take a step forward, although on the other hand I often react very impulsively.
I admitted to myself that you are I throw sand in my eyes, when I claim that my pain cannot be cured. I picked up the phone and I knew exactly who to contact, as I had felt this a while ago. When I called the coach, I was shivering as if I was standing at -10 degrees. I was drenched in sweat and my heart was beating very fast. If that person were next to me at this moment, they would probably hear how hard my heart is beating.
I got to the point and said yes i want help that I have a problem and that I cannot find a solution for it myself. The coach smiled at me and said that there is no problem that cannot be solved with proper movement, but I will have to try, because the elimination of dysfunctions is only possible if I myself make an effort to do so. In an instant it struck me: "List the things you strive for in life?".... I was sad, because I realized that I excel only at work, because I have a responsibility there, which I can do without when I am employed.
Where is here effort for mental and physical health? Neat and healthy nutrition? Beautiful attitude towards oneself and people around me?
Later, when I was walking on the treadmill in the gym, I admitted to myself that I have quite a few bad habits that will have to be changed if I want to move forward in life, because I am aware that I am stuck somewhere far away, like a sailboat in the middle of a windless sea. I realized what bad habits were preventing me from being happy. I watched a lot television. Positive people around me helped me nerves. Every morning I snooze seven times on my alarm clock. I felt terrible, and many times I blame myself for my malaise blamed others. I hung out with people who did complained over life just like me.
The conclusions I reached with mine recognition, they instantly took me to another dimension. For starters, you could got up earlier and as soon as my alarm goes off. I realized that if I wanted to change the world around me, I had to change the world within. It all starts in me. I never thought that with mine negative thinking I attract even more negativity. But that's over now!
At the moment of decision, I realized that my life would begin to turn in a different direction. A new path awaits me, which will positive, sunny, smiling and colored with all forms of love.
