Burnout is a big problem in today's society. That's why it's right to take a look at the ways in which parents unknowingly take care of their children's burnout.
Children's burnout is increasingly common, and the reason for this is the unrealistic expectations of parents and the importance of grades and awards in today's society. Gary Simonds MD, a professor in the medical school and head of the neuroscience department at the Virginia Tech, in an article published on Psychology Today, outlined the ways in which parents unwittingly lead children to burnout.
He was prompted to think about it by the story of a girl who made him think how desperate we push children to hyper-achieve, and then we wonder why they are unhappy and constantly stressed. With that in mind, he's come up with seven surefire ways you can (unknowingly) lead kids into permanence burnout.
Parental behaviors that lead to child burnout
#1 You insist on superhuman academic achievements
Why should children have fours when they can have fives?! Our society no longer celebrates academic effort, intellectual curiosity, and cognitive development. "All that matters is performance. And apparently "perfect" performance is not good enough," says disappointed Simonds.
#2 You trust the superiority of "elite" schools
We pressure our offspring to aspire to only the "best" schools. We force them to see anything less as failure. A ticket to nowhere. In America, they are a symbol of the success of "Ivy League" schools. "But do they really offer the best education," asks the professor. Are professors that much better, that much more invested in their students? Are curricula really that markedly better? If so, why are these institutions so stingy with vacancies is the question Simonds asks at this point.
#3 Excessive ambitions of parents
These ambitions are evident in various sports, where parents bring their children to an activity, then watch their offspring closely and yell at them if they fail. Of course, a child must start with professional sports thinking already in kindergarten. Being a star athlete is golden. That's why we spend all our and our children's free time in cars, on the way to various training sessions, in order to give them an advantage over the others. To succeed.
Regardless, it exposes their developing bodies to injury and their developing minds to sports burnout. We must realize that sport is healthy. But if you want your child to love football, kick the ball with him and have fun doing it. Children must be old enough to enroll in soccer schools.
#4 Make sure that the underdogs are kicked off the sports teams
Children who do not shine are labeled as unworthy of time and effort. Remember that children mature (physically and cognitively) at different rates. School sport can be a driver of integrative and collaborative skill development, a builder of healthy habits and a source of great fun, camaraderie, social development, inclusion and a sense of belonging for all children.
#5 Push them into countless activities
Volunteering, afternoon clubs and courses. There seems to be no end to the list. They fill their resumes with various activities, and as a result, they can secure admission to better schools. This means that we deprive children of their childhood, free play, time for boredom and creativity.
#6 You insist on overcoming "annoying" things
"We must not ignore the need for children to face adversity in their lives. It is the foundation of everything they will ever encounter. Regardless of the fact that we know that suffering is individualized and cannot be compared with each other," writes Simonds and adds with a great deal of satire, "that children must continue to look for challenges and be under stress in order to achieve goals and expectations."
