Finding a faithful partner has become like looking for a needle in a haystack.
At first, all people are nice and trustworthy, but after a certain time they become something you would never imagine - frauds.
Why do people cheat?
Is cheating a split second decision or a process that is made up of many underlying relationship issues? What exactly goes on in the mind of a cheater?
There are many reasons why someone might choose to cheat on their partner. They may be bored in their current relationship, want attention, or don't know what they want. Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure - people usually decide to cheat on their partner because they long for something that is not there in the current relationship. It can be almost anything: from lack of effort, attention, affection, spontaneity, etc.
The biggest mistake in relationships is refusing to talk to your partner about how the relationship could be improved. The main reason a person doesn't want to talk to their partner about what's missing in their relationship is that they don't even realize it until they find it in the other person.
It may sound strange, but everything, absolutely everything can be solved with regular open and honest communication, which is the basis of any healthy and happy relationship.
Is cheating a split second decision or a process that is made up of many underlying relationship issues?Photo: Freepik
Let's look at some interesting facts about cheating and the things that all cheaters have in common!
• The person is overly protective of their phone.
• Men cheat more than women.
• Most of those who cheat feel insecure in their current relationship.
• Cheaters tend to flirt with everyone around them.
• Lack of intimacy is the first sign that your partner may be cheating on you.
• Those who cheat don't think the other partner is better, just different from their current partner.
• Narcissistic individuals are more likely to cheat.
• Criticizing is a way they try to distract attention from their bad behavior.
• Cheating often happens while drunk.
• Unhappy marriages and relationships lead to cheating.
Most cheated partners think that the person their partner cheated with is better than them. They lose their confidence and convince themselves that their partner thinks they are not good enough. This is not true. Cheating partners don't think their lover is better than you, they just think they're different from you. There is a big difference between that.
The basis of understanding the nature of people who cheat is to know their coping mechanisms after their act.
Blaming is their favorite game
You will rarely see a cheater admit that they made a mistake and that they are sorry. They are usually still unfaithful until you know anything about it. Once you confront their deceitful nature, they go into blame-shifting mode or pretend nothing is happening and you're just being paranoid.
It can be really confusing and frustrating, but that's how their mind works when you start to suspect that they're doing something behind your back, or when you have proof that they're being unfaithful. Instead of admitting they are guilty of cheating, they will focus on finding ways to make you - you - feel guilty.
Never let them destroy your confidence. They do this to avoid being the center of attention. They really want you to focus on you instead of them.
Here are some disturbing things people who cheat say when confronted.
"You don't trust me!"
"It was just a one-time thing."
"It meant nothing to me."
"It's not what it seems."
"I'm not happy anymore."
"I did it because we didn't have enough sex."
"He/she came to me!"
"This happened a long time ago. Things are different now.”
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
You will rarely see a cheater admit that they made a mistake and that they are sorry.Photo: Freepik
Another favorite game of those who cheat is to play the victim
They want to present themselves as poor creatures who did not know what they were doing.
Here are the best ways to deal with someone who cheats and plays the victim!
• Make sure they know there is no excuse for cheating. Just because they were bored at the time doesn't mean cheating was an option. Or just because they found something missing in your relationship doesn't mean it was okay for them to cheat on you. Nothing justifies cheating.
• Tell them how you feel about it. Often, those who cheat don't even know how you feel about the whole thing until you tell them. So, let them know how you feel about their cheating.
• Ask them how they would feel if you cheated on them. This may make it easier for them to understand the consequences of their actions. Switch roles. Ask them how they would feel if they were in your shoes. Their answer may surprise you.
• Let them see the evidence (if you have it). The moment they are confronted with the evidence, cheaters automatically stop playing the victim because there is nothing they can do or lie to justify their behavior. This is a priceless moment of truth.
Should You Take Back A Cheating Man (Or Not)?
This is a decision that everyone has to make for themselves.
But there are a few reasons why you shouldn't take it back.
• They are likely to do it again.
• They may not love you enough.
• It is impossible to forget their cheating.
• Issues of trust are a real challenge in a partnership.
• You deserve better.
If you don't think these reasons are good enough, you can give them a second chance. But if giving them another chance doesn't make you happy, you know what to do.
When it comes to this decision, it's important to think about yourself. Is merging with them a good idea? Do you still love them? Are you both willing to work on improving your relationship?
If only one partner is willing to work on behavior and relationships, it won't work. Both partners must be equally committed and willing to work together.
