It's past midnight. My phone screen glows in the dark, and your name is on it. It would be so easy to type the words, "I miss you." I'm just one click away from re-entering your world. My heart beats faster, but then I stop. I hold my breath and erase everything. Letter by letter. Because I know that just because I miss you doesn't mean I have to invite you back into my life.
There is a special kind of pain It's when you miss someone so much, but know deep down that you shouldn't text them. It's a battle between your heart, seeking familiar comfort, and your mind, remembering why you parted ways in the first place.
The illusion of the message
When a wave of loneliness overwhelms us, The brain likes to trick people.. They convince us that a single short message will fill the void. That their response will be – if he comes – brought that relief we are so desperately seeking. But the truth is often much crueler.
In those late-night hours, we don't really miss the person they were at the end. We miss what they were. initiallyWe miss the illusion, the potential, the sense of security, and those beautiful moments that we idealized.
Message it won't miraculously fix the reasons, which caused the relationship to fall apart. It will not erase the words spoken, the incompatible values, or the lack of respect.
What happens when you press "send"?
If you send that message, you surrender your power. You put your emotional stability in someone else's hands. And then you wait. Every ring of the phone wakes you up.
What if there will be no answer at all? The silence on the other side of the screen hurts a hundred times more than the silence you chose yourself.
What about, if the answer comes, but is he cold, short, and distant? That small hope you had will shatter into a thousand pieces again, and you will have to start the healing process all over again, from the beginning.
This is perhaps the hardest lesson we have to learn in life.
Love and compatibility are not the same thing. You can love someone with every cell of your body. You can miss them so much that it physically hurts. And at the same time, you can know with crystal clear clarity that you would returning to this person destroyed.
Missing someone is not a sign that you made a mistake by leaving (or letting them go). Missing someone is simply a withdrawal syndrome. It is a natural healing process. Your heart needs to get used to the presence of someone who has been your safe haven for a long time. And that takes time.
That's why the moment you delete a text message and put down your phone is actually the moment of your greatest power. It is a moment when you choose yourself. You choose your long-term peace over short-term, false relief.
So tonight, leave that message unwritten. It hurts, of course it hurts. Allow yourself to feel that emptiness, but don't try to fill it with someone who has already proven to you that they can't take care of your heart.
I miss you, but I prefer myself. And that's the only message you need to send yourself.