There are things that parents simply shouldn't say to their children, especially daughters. Melita Kuhar, a renowned consultant for partner relationships and child-rearing, writes about what phrases parents use to destroy their daughters' good self-esteem.
Many parents sometimes harshly criticize their children and thereby insult their personality. They think that this will teach them to be less superficial, impossible and laborious. In this way, they form a low self-esteem of their own children, who will later have great problems in establishing healthy relationships with each other in adulthood. Above all, they have problems with the self-worth of women, so today the record applies to all daughters who will one day grow up to be ladies.
Here are some tips on what parents should not say to their daughters:
1. You're a little too young for that. This offends the responsibility of the girl, who already knows from a young age what she will be when she grows up. Instead of reproaching her, offer her support in exploring relationships and her desires, trust her, talk to her and share your experiences.
2. Lower your expectations. Instead, tell her to keep trying, learn about the tougher sides of growing up, and that defeats and failures are also part of small victories and life. That it's not the end of the world if you get a bad grade at school or if your friend lets you down.
3. You're wasting your time. We parents often make the mistake of not giving our children the chance to simply waste time being children or later teenagers who have their own ideas that are not the most mature or smart. You can show them that you understand by telling them that you trust their judgment or idea, but that you want to evaluate the next decision together. As parents, we have a bit more experience, don't we?
4. I'll do that for you. Huh, no way. I know, as parents, we are very quick to be overprotective and think that children don't know or can do anything. Error! So how should children learn what they can do? Even mistakes are an important and integral part of growing up, which do not occur if parents do everything for the child or teenager. The child remains too dependent on the parent and does not develop healthy communication and cooperative skills.
5. Look at the neighbor's little girl, how hardworking she is. Don't compare your child to anyone else. Your child, your daughter is unique, special, just yours. When we compare a child to someone else, we create in him the behavior that he is not good enough for his parents. This later manifests itself in various deviant behaviors and seeking attention in unhealthy ways, as the teenager perceives his parents as those who do not care about him and his pain. Because he is not as wonderful, hardworking, hardworking and smiling as the neighbor Mojca or Gašper.
The author of the article Melita Cook she is a university graduate social pedagogue and a graduate social worker. Lead Counseling room, and she can be reached on tel. no. 031 666 168. If you would like to book an individual consultation or ask her about your problems, write to her at: info@svetovalnica.si.
