How to forgive him and move on?

Photo: Apostolos Vamvouras/Unsplash

Forgiving someone with whom we share a deep history can be one of the hardest things to do, but it is in this process that there is a hidden liberation that allows us to regain control of our life's path.

To forgive. In the heart of forgiveness lies the paradox: a powerful act that is often understood as a form of loss or surrender, but in fact represents one of the greatest forms of personal power.

Forgiveness does not mean we deny the pain or to overlook the wrongs done to us.

It means choosing freedom over the chains of resentment, choosing peace over constant conflict with the past. And crucially, it doesn't mean that the people we've forgiven have to stay in our lives.

The story of forgiveness begins with an internal struggle

When we feel hurt, the natural response is to defend ourselves, to build walls around our wounded hearts. However, these walls we build for protection can become a prison that holds us in the past, full of pain and bitterness.

Forgiveness requires courage, to break down those walls and face the pain we feel without letting it define our future.

Don't look back. Photo: Jure Širić / Pexels

When we forgive, it does not mean that we approve of what happened or that we forget the harm that was caused.

It means acknowledging that our pain is part of our history, but not allowing it to be the whole story of our lives. Forgiving yourself and others is an act of inner strength that paves the way for a new chapter where we are the authors of our own path.

One of the key steps in the forgiveness process is understanding that our needs, health and well-being must come first.

This can mean making the difficult decision to let someone out of our lives, no matter how much history we share with them. By keeping people who hurt or neglect us in our living space, we we deny ourselves the possibility of growth and happiness.

In the process of forgiveness, we learn to separate people from their actions

We can love a person but at the same time reject their actions. This separation is key to forgiveness because it allows us to we see people as complex individuals, capable of both good and bad without affecting our self-worth or self-esteem.

Forgiving someone means releasing the burden that binds us to pain and the past.

Live the life. Photo: Lucas Piero / Pexels

However, this does not require that person to remain a part of our life. We often think of forgiveness as equal to maintaining relationships, but true forgiveness goes deeper. It is an internal change that allows us to we move forward unencumbered, regardless of whether the other person remains in our circle of life.

Forgiveness is therefore an act of liberation

Not only from chains of past actions, but also from possible expectations that we have to maintain relationships that do not contribute to our well-being.

When we learn that it is possible to forgive someone and at the same time allow that person to leave our lives, we truly live in the fullness of our power, respect and integrity.

This is the way to the real thing inner peace and a fulfilled life, where we are the authors of our own story, not burdened by the past, but focused on building of the future, which reflects our true value and potential.

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