A person cannot live without love. Especially a little man. He needs hugs, loving and warm words, in other words: he needs our "emotional food".
No parent in the world will admit that they don't love their child. But unfortunately, the truth is much sadder: this is the situation more frequent as we imagine.
Unloved children can be spotted immediately. At first glance, they are no different from other children - they are fed, dressed, with shoes - but they are sad, humble and in need of support.
There can be several reasons why the parents did not accept the child and do not return their love. One of the most common is that the child "happened". No one planned it, no one expected it. They didn't even dream about what color they should paint the children's room and what kind of stroller they should buy. It happened. And in the soul of some such parents there is no room for love for a child, but they still gave him life. Life, but not love...
Little man he cannot understand what is wrong with him, why this is happening to him: "Why don't they like me?" The situation becomes even more complicated when you are a parent they don't want to admit that they don't love their child. So they try to come up with a bunch of excuses and explanations for their behavior and emotional abuse. They often claim that he is their child simply unbearable. With your behavior it gets on their nerves. So if they are too strict and punish the child badly, it is for his own good. That he will grow into a good person and not be a loser, they say. Such a parenting strategy leads to the child being completely lost, ultimately leading to the false realization that he is bad and that he does everything wrong.
The kid who is to blame for everything
"You piss me off!", "You can't be dealt with!" ... Let's not jump to conclusions. Such a parent may have had a really bad day, may be very tired from work with no one to help him, or may be struggling with his relationship with his partner. But if repeats such behavior continuously, the situation is quite different. They make certain demands on the child, which he simply cannot achieve. These may be unrealistic expectations, they may expect the child to use the same logic and skills as adults, they may not even explain to the child what they expect at all... Many times they demand that the child quietly and not to disturb anyone, so that he doesn't demand attention, they take away his toys and sit him down at the table like an adult. Such a child will always feel bad and will always be disappointed. He will quickly understand the harsh truth: no matter what or how he does something, the parents will still be unhappy. Regardless of his talents and success, it will never be enough for his parents to accept and love him.
A child they don't like
The pain is immense when you are still small, innocent and unloved for some reason. The hearts of such children are broken from the first day of life. Unable to understand why they suffer and unable to articulate what they feel, they ask for help in a different way. In doing so, they release the pain and despair that literally tears them to pieces.
It often happens that…
... unloved children develop fears and phobias. They are afraid of the dark, spiders, dogs, certain situations. This happens subconsciously. And as you can imagine, this kind of behavior only makes the parents angrier.
... unloved children are very impulsive. Today they want one thing, tomorrow they will want something completely different. We get the feeling that they don't even know what they want. The mood also fluctuates from second to second: one moment they are laughing, the next they are stamping their feet and shouting. In principle, such behavior is noticeable in almost all young children, but in those who do not have love, it manifests itself far too often and in a very cruel way.
... unloved children are always impatient. They cannot stay in one place even for a minute, they are always running here and there, asking questions all the time. The reaction of parents who do not feel enough love for their child can be predictable: they only get angrier.
... unloved children find it difficult to focus on one thing. Because of this, they may have problems in kindergarten and at school. They try to become "invisible". Not to be touched, not to be noticed... They want to disappear, not to exist.
... unloved children do not find their place in society. They feel uncomfortable among their peers. For this reason, they themselves can start "teasing" other children and adults.
… unloved children become very suspicious. On a subconscious level, they are looking for a reason for everything. They don't trust anyone, they are always confused and tense. Sometimes they are stubborn to the point of incapacitation, and sometimes they are weak and manageable.
There are no perfect parents. We all break down at times, unfairly accuse a child of something, get angry. But a wise mother and father will always apologize. At the end of the day, children are the greatest treasure you have.
It is not the little man's fault that a loved one left us when he found out about the pregnancy, it is not his fault that we have many problems and worries. He loves us unconditionally, more than anything in the world. Let's not forget that the next time we get mad at him
We love our child and he will love us!