Can we remain friends with a person we once loved passionately? This is a question that most people ask themselves at some point. The idea sounds very pure and romantic, but the question is whether it is feasible and, above all, whether it is healthy. In the latest study, scientists find that people who have remained friends with ex-partners may even be psychopaths.
In the recent studies, conducted at Oakland University and published in the publication Personality and Individual Differences, were analyzed personality traits of 861 people and their relationships in the past. Participants had to answer questions about the relationships they have at the moment, as well as the question of whether they remained friends with their ex-partners. After that, the researchers gave them a questionnaire that they used to try to define narcissistic and psychopathic tendencies. According to the research results, those who have personality traits similar to those of psychopaths they maintain contact with ex-partners more ofteni, for several troubling reasons.
Psychopathy is actually a form of antisocial personality disorder. In psychology, the term is usually applied to people who have personality traits of a narcissist and a sadist, and their actions express selfishness and lack of empathy. All people can be selfish at times, but psychopaths show it to a much more extreme degree. They are also known to take advantage of this fake charm and it is not difficult for them to keep in touch with their ex-partners long after the relationship is over because they can benefit from it. According to the survey, still in this way they get money, information and sex.
What's more, most psychopaths are said to have one trait in common: they can't stand the idea of their ex being in a relationship with another person. And this is another good reason to use all their charm and kindness towards ex-partners and convince them to remain friends. It's easier that way, yes they manipulate and perhaps even destroy another person's happiness.
dr. Paulette Sherman, psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out, warns, that we should not perceive all our exes as psychopaths. “I've seen my clients stay friends with their exes for completely normal and even altruistic reasons. They want to be best friends with their exes, enjoy their company and know where the healthy limits of this kind of friendship are. In most cases, they are no longer attracted to each other, both are in relationships and respect their partners. It's not always the easiest, but it can happen, and it's important not to think that all exes who remain friends are psychopaths or have such tendencies."
So be careful, what kind of friendship is between you and your ex-partner. If you feel that he is too close to you, that he is too friendly, he may have other intentions.