Are you actively working on improvements? Are you in denial and procrastinating about what you need to do? Do you settle for the minimum because you don't believe you deserve the maximum and you don't believe you can provide that maximum?
We all want to live better, feel better, progress. Some are making progress in this endeavor, others are lagging behind.
You have a lot of work ahead of you if you want to build a loving relationship with yourself.
Throw away what you don't need
Start by cleaning out your closet. You've probably heard this advice many times before, and you're never quite ready to get anything out of it. Because, you will have to "let go" of things that you have outgrown, that you no longer wear and do not need, even if you are sentimentally attached to them. It is not easy for anyone to throw away things that they loved, but you are attached to pieces of cloth, to cloths, colors and shapes that no longer serve you. How many such attachments do you have in other aspects of life? Bad habits? Toxic relationships? False beliefs?
Anything that doesn't heal, make you happy and free you should be let go. So think of this closet decluttering as a spiritual exercise and approach it as a materialization of what's in your mind and heart.
Pay attention to how you talk about the people around you
Are you mostly sarcastic? Resentful, jealous? Do you judge others, or do you support and justify them? Are you happy for them? Are you objective? How you talk about others is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself, it reflects where you are in your life.
A good way to move away from this is to start talking positively about others, stop criticizing and judging them and try to understand them or at least accept that you don't understand them. Also, pay attention to what others are saying.
Change your perspective, get out and observe
What people say about others actually reflects their insecurities, fears, weaknesses. Everyone is insecure about something, angry, hurt, lonely, everyone is vulnerable and tries to hide it because they are ashamed of their vulnerability. You can't force people to talk honestly about how they feel and what they think, but you can stop sharing (and increasing) resentments, insecurities... Love yourself.
Highlight one quality you appreciate in each person you love
It is a challenging and liberating exercise. It will give you an insight into whether you have broken off past relationships, or whether you still have feelings of guilt, anger, hurt. Surely, every person with whom you were closely connected had something good, which is why they attracted you, even if it turned out that they only left you with a lesson.
Even the worst relationship has taught you something, so if you can't bring out some quality of the person you love, you can face how you feel about emotional engagement or still blame yourself and what your weakness is. What have you learned about yourself in all of your past relationships?
Do what you really want, or just think you want to
It's not easy to make a difference, because we usually don't ask ourselves what we want. We don't ask ourselves why we want it. Motives are essential, as they lead to whether we ultimately want something that will meet the expectations of others, or to prove to them that we can do it and that we are better than they think. You are driven by the need for self-actualization, driven by the need to prove yourself, anger. But at some point in your development you must become aware of these forces because you must transform them, raise them from their "raw" state of low frequency to a higher vibration.
Because if you are always driven by the same motive, the same energy, you will never feel only fulfillment and you will never be satisfied. You can also stay attached to desires that you never manage to achieve, just because you have a subconscious resistance to them not being what you really want.
Beneath this belief lie fears, emotional trauma, and a mental abyss that you must explore in order to find yourself. And understand, accept and love this person.
