The Psychology of Love: 3 Ways to Be Happier in a Relationship

Anthropologist Helen Fisher has been researching for many years the brain, more specifically, what happens in them when we are in love, excited. According to her, they can be real partners in love into each other even after decades of relationship. But what is the secret of couples who keep the spark for so long?

To find out, she set out research, in which approximately 80,000 people participated and then recorded their observations in a book Anatomy of love. When we read the book, we find that its main conclusion is that in happy couples, compared to those who are unhappy in the relationship, they are activated to a much greater extent three parts of the brain: center for empathy, center for control of emotions and a center for so-called positive illusions.

Compassion, control of emotions and positive thinking are also the main factors in her opinion healthy relationships. Let's take a look at why individual emotions are so important and how to "train" the brain to activate.

1. Compassion

For a long and happy marriage, it is necessary that the partners know how to place themselves in each other's position– that's the only way you'll know how to react, when one of them goes over more difficult periods, when it comes to conflicts etc. Additionally, the reason many relationships end too quickly is because one partner feels as though the other cares about their feelings. anyway.
If you are very empathetic, you will also find it easier connected with your fellow man, because you will felt his pain similar to yours.

Empathy level it is human to human different. Some are able to immediately perceive that something is wrong and easily understand their partner, while others are not. However, this does not mean that they also have no chance of a successful union - it's their turn communication, effort and readiness, to make the situation as easy as possible for your partner.
Anyone who spends many years together with someone will also be good to that person met and so easier understood, how he feels.

2. Control of emotions

For the success of the relationship, it is also very important that you are able to be yourself to control emotions in stressful situations. So don't act impulsively and leave the relationship or do something that would hurt your partner so that you don't lose yourself in anger self control and you say insulting words that you can to control in public….
Psychologists have developed a lot exercises, which can help us deal with emotions in a healthy way. One of the tips is that when we feel that the emotional pressure is too strong, the situation let's leave and talk to your partner in a nice and respectful way after we're done reassured.

It is also very useful the 24 hour rule– this means that when we feel the need to act impulsively, let's wait one day and we perform the action only then - of course, if we still feel that this is the way to act correctly. It will usually happen in this way that the desire to act in affect we will not feel anymore.
It is also always good to look at the problem from as many angles as possible realistic angle and thus decide what to do.

3. Positive illusions

Fisher claims that the use positive illusions in a relationship key to its longevity. That doesn't mean you have to to lie and se to pretend, that everything is super- know that right in no relationship not everything is perfect, so it's quite normal that there are things you still need to work on to work.

Positive illusions mean that you simply focus on good qualities your relationship. When you focus your attention on positively and were grateful for what you have will also begin to radiate from you positive energy. This will help both you and your partner feel better.
Here it is also important not to remind your partner of his shortcomings- because every person has something that you will not like the most. Instead of praise his virtues and make him feel that way appreciated and beloved.