Feelings of disappointment are always associated with expectations - you thought that something would turn out the way you imagined, that people would react in a way that suited you, that your wish would come true, that someone would be with you, that…
How realistic were your expectations? Many times it doesn't go the way we want and it often happens that we remain disappointed and confused and don't know how to react, we don't know where to go with our feelings.
Accept your feelings
Look deep within yourself first. What is the basis of your disappointment? Perhaps you were not selected for a job that you were almost sure you would be entrusted with, you were not rewarded as you believe you deserve.
How do you feel? Betrayed? Like you're less worthy? Are you angry because you think it's unfair? Envious of the person who got what you thought was yours?
Identify and name all your feelings, acknowledge them, give them legitimacy - this will make it easier to overcome them.
What lies behind disappointment
Why did what happened affect you so much? Is there an unmet need behind you, maybe this situation reminded you of some unpleasant situations from the past in which you felt betrayed and rejected?
Your need for support, sympathy and understanding may have collided with indifference. Your wounds have come alive and are telling you to let go of the past, work on yourself and clear this emotional wreckage.
Lower your expectations1 Photo: Andrey Zvyagintsev / UnsplashDistinguish between the burden you carry inside you and what is happening now? Create clear boundaries between what was and what is happening now so you can more easily focus on the present moment and deal with what is happening.
Who are you?
When they disappoint you, look at yourself. Instead of wallowing in depression and self-pity, or giving in to a vengeful mood, pamper yourself. Buy yourself some little thing that will make you happy. Something that will make you feel that you deserve more, that you can give yourself what you have not received from others.
Never feel deprived or disappointed because you can comfort yourself best.
Sometimes you need to talk to another person
When you're frustrated with a loved one, friend or partner, it's probably best to talk to them about how you're feeling. Give this person a chance to explain their motives, their story!
Give them and yourself a chance to say how you feel, to relieve yourself, share that burden, give your relationship a chance to grow. Forgive the person who disappointed you and give them a chance to forgive themselves.
Think and rethink your expectations
Every disappointment is an opportunity to reconsider and evaluate your own expectations. Have you been selfish and disregarded the limitations of others? Their emotional state, family situation, business pressure?
Try to lower your expectations of others as much as possible.
You have to accept your emotions, understand them and overcome them, which means taking responsibility for them. Other people's actions are the trigger for your feelings and states, but it's not their responsibility, it's yours.
