A happy, healthy and long-lasting relationship is the kind of relationship we all dream of. However, in practice, it often happens that this desire does not come true, regardless of our efforts: we move away from our partner or we get the feeling that the problems we face in the relationship are no longer solvable. So we asked what the experts think: what action can ensure a happy relationship?
A successful relationship can be defined as a relationship based on trust, of love and respect. This is a relationship in which we have no doubt and in which we firmly believe that we can overcome any obstacle together with our partner we overcome.
On the beginning of a relationship it usually seems to us that we have finally found the person we are with we really catch, but after a certain time it often happens that our relationship begins to fall apart. To prevent this from happening to you, we asked what they claim research in the field of psychology: what it can provide us happy relationship?
Do you dream of a happy, long-lasting relationship? Photo: Matheus Bertelli / PexelsWhat action can ensure a happy relationship?
According to research in a scientific journal Journal of Family Psychology published psychologist John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman, the most important thing for a happy relationship is the so-called "concept of bids". This is not about the offers we know at auction or in stores, but this phrase describes communication system, which we grow with our partner.
The Gottmans defined the offer as each attempt, to receive from the partner attention, confirmation, affection or other ways expressions of love. An example of such an attempt is when one of the partners expresses a desire that the other listens and to him standing by, when he is facing a certain problem in his life. Such an "offer" is also considered the moment when one of the partners trusts the other that he feels overloaded, and others then try their best to give him everyday made it easier (e.g. he is ready to talk, takes care of household chores...).
The most important thing is to stand by your partner Photo: Monstera / PexelsHow to respond to your partner's request?
While observing the couples, the Gottmans noticed that they existed three ways, as you can at your partner's request we respond, and only one of them will ensure a happy relationship.
The first way is to make a partner's request we ignore. This is not always a literal definition of the term, but can describe a situation in which we show our partner that for his problems we don't have time, that his emotions they are not important, to him we don't understand... We don't usually use such behavior on purpose, but it can have a very bad effect on our relationship. That's why it's important to show your partner that you hear and feel and that you will - if this is not possible at the moment when you approach us - take time for it later.
Another way many couples react to a proposal is rejection. Such a response can be recognized by the fact that one of the partners clearly shows to the other that you are for him he doesn't mean to take time and that for conversation or he can't see the help reason. This type of behavior usually occurs when the relationship has been going on for a while broken, but causes the relationship to deteriorate further. If you see him in your relationship, it means it's time to a long and honest conversation and effort from both sides, so that the grievances that have arisen between you, resolved.
The third way, which the two psychologists characterized as the foundation of a happy relationship, is that to the partner we stand by. This means that Mr we listen and we show him that he we love. To let him know that we see him in beautiful lights, to us means a lot and that we are him always ready to help.
Even if his problems you don't quite understand or you yourself would not be affected by a certain situation, it is important for a healthy relationship to show your partner that you can is counting on you. In this way, there will be a connection between you more solid, and communication will flow no offense and worries, that one of you is no longer willing to put in the effort for the relationship.
