The world does not only revolve around you and is mostly a neutral place that everyone interprets as they see fit or as they know and know.
Someone gets angry when the rain spoils their plans. The sky did this on purpose, it rains just to make him nervous. It's someone else's fault for not listening to the weather forecast. They wanted to take revenge on him for something. It's everyone's fault for his hurt feelings and disruption of plans, and he rightly thinks he's angry.
Everything around him exists only in relation to himself, to his needs, plans and feelings. When all is well, the world is good and life is good, but when it is not, someone has something against him.
This is a simple example that illustrates what psychology defines as attribution of purpose, and is a sign of low self-esteem and a defensive way of thinking that does not lead to problem solving.
You are not a target, usually no one is out to hurt you, sabotage you, anger you.
Someone you like doesn't call you back; you might think he doesn't care about you. Either that he is not well or that he wants to solve his problems and your presence would not help him.
You are not the center of the whole world! Photo: Jens Lindner / UnsplashIn such situations, when there is no direct communication, what do you think? What offends you the most? What affects you? Are you reacting out of ego? But later it turns out that you were wrong, and that there is something completely different at play.
This is a situation that was not created to hurt you, but to teach you that it's not always about you, either in a negative or positive sense.
More often than not, someone's actions and behavior towards you have nothing to do with you, but with that person's condition and feelings and their problems (which they may not want to face).
When someone close to you realizes that you are suffering because of their behavior, they apologize and declare that they did not even think of hurting you. But they just didn't think about your feelings. Their minds were occupied with something else.
And that's absolutely true! It might be a little painful because the person close to you didn't even think about how something they do or don't do would make you feel. But she followed her impulses and ideas or solved some problems.
Accept it - almost no one thinks about you the way they think about themselves and how they deal with themselves.
When they hurt you with something, they're not actually trying to hurt you at all, they're fighting something inside of them. When they doubt, they are not doubting your abilities, but they are reacting from that part of themselves (repressed) in which they themselves were not able to do something they wanted.
Don't take everything personally. Photo: Jason Yoder/UnsplashThere are many people with a lack of empathy and understanding who will not even try to think and see below the surface, but will only project the image they have on the surface of their mind.
Learn to stop taking everything personally. Reconsider the situation when the emotional charge passes.
Try to understand that everyone exists in their own reality, has their own way of thinking and understanding. Seek to deepen your understanding and broaden your perspective.
When you realize that the world doesn't just revolve around you, you have the power to live your life.
