Manipulation varies from case to case, but what manipulators have in common is that they create feelings of embarrassment, guilt, shame, anxiety in their targets. However, the ways in which they create this feeling can be different. Read more about the five types of manipulators and how to counter their techniques below.
1. The culprit
If I was good, you would do this to me...", "If you loved me, you would...", "If you knew what I went through, you would …” – these are just examples of sentences with which such a person wants to fill the feeling of guilt. The person who utters them wants to to feel like a bad person if you don't do something, and that's exactly why you end up following these commands.
How to fight against such manipulators, who are focused on instilling feelings of guilt? Don't give up, even when it's hard. Be firm about what you want and accompany your decision with a comment that can start with words “I'm sorry you feel that way, but …” It is important to know that making someone feel guilty is not always based on the truth and you do not always have to take responsibility for everything.
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2. A fan of the “silent treatment”
Silent behavior, i.e. interruption of communication, expression of emotions, has only one goal - to fulfill the demands of the manipulator. Basically, it's one of the ways of controlling your partner's behavior through fear – fear of rejection, abandonment, exclusion.
How to resist this form of manipulation? Do not show fear and desire to communicate. Instead, respond neutrally: “I see that you do not want to communicate with me right now. I'll read a bit, and you let me know when you're ready to talk again."
3. The threatening type of manipulator
This type of manipulator is prone to violence and when he threatens, he does it with a strike "I'll hurt you if you don't do it to me". The threat works by making the victim for own safety, do something out of fear. If you find yourself in physical danger, the only correct solution is to run and get help. Note that the more you indulge, the less likely these threats will stop.
4. Attacker on self-esteem
This type of manipulator communicates in a way that to criticize your character, belittles and embarrasses you, thereby deeply undermining your self-esteem. It is important not to take insults coming from such a person seriously. It's just their tool to control you. Even the manipulator does not think that what he says is true. Also, don't let anyone talk to you disrespectfully and do what you think is right, regardless of other people's opinions.
5. Excessive criticality
There are circumstances in which criticism is useful, but there are fewer such circumstances than people usually think. It is very common criticism is only a means of controlling the behavior of other people by weakening their self-esteem. People who are constantly criticized feel inferior and end up controlling themselves to avoid criticism. In the event that a close person criticizes you, talk to them by telling each other the things that bother each other. If you engage a defense mechanism, you will only fuel their need to prove you wrong.
