Asking and accepting help from a fellow human being is very difficult for many people, even if the person who would help them is among their closest relatives. This usually happens because they were not heard as children and had to learn to take care of themselves. However, at some point, everyone finds themselves in a situation where they need someone to help them. That's why we've prepared 3 steps that will make it easier and shameless to ask for help.
1. Admit to yourself that you need help
We often don't want it for ourselves to admit, that we have accumulated too many obligations or because of hardships we just can't take it anymore. However, the worst thing you can do is to wait until last minute, because this way you will accumulate even more tasks or the pain will be even worse.
Whether you need someone to help you with official or family obligations or you lack emotional support, the first step is to admit that you need help. That doesn't mean you are incompetent or weak. No one can quite all by myself: just as you easily help your loved ones, so will they ready to help to you.
2. Explore why it's difficult for you
Asking someone for help shouldn't fill you with emotion guilt and shame. If this is happening to you, it is therefore best to find out where it lies the cause. In most cases, it originates from childhood, in which their needs they were not satisfied or they were taught that asking for help represents personal defeat. Memories can be painful, but you have to deal with them to face and them to process, remembering that the way adults treated you as a child was in no way your fault guilt. That alone you realize, that they are yours patterns wrong is a great start.
If you cannot find the cause or if you feel that you cannot deal with it yourself, we advise you to find professional help.
3. Realize that vulnerability is not weakness
If you were used to taking care of yourself as a child, vulnerability you may be looking at it as a sign weaknesses or dangerous situation, in which the other person can later use your "flaws" against you. However, the reality is quite different: vulnerability is a sign courage and the opportunity to be with a friend or partner even more they connect emotionally and attitude upgrade. The other person often understands it as proof that they you trust and her appreciate it.
Especially in a partnership, asking for help is very important, because otherwise your partner can feel bad redundant and begins to wonder why he you don't trust. So it's best if you develop communication and to him explain, why it is difficult for you to express certain needs, but to work on it and you try.
4. Don't apologize for the help you received
Many have also acquired the pattern that love is in childhood transactional. This means that if someone helps you in any way, you should make the gesture right away to return. This is not true. Yes, in a friendship or partnership it is normal to help each other when we need each other, but the fact that you accepted the help does not mean, that you are something to a person owe.
When someone offers to help you, it's easy thank you and let him know that this appreciate it. No way don't apologize: just because someone helps you doesn't mean you're into them burden. You deserve it lovingly, warm relationships that are full of trust and proximity. Don't let your childhood patterns define you.
